陳豪在北京的ABC美國公司工作。他和美國同事Amy剛剛開完會。

(Office ambience)

A：陳豪，Do you have a few minutes to talk?

C：Sure, 有什么事嗎?

A：I noticed something in our meeting just now. 做為朋友，我覺得應(yīng)該告訴你。It has to do with good etiquette.

C: 我有什么地方做得不對嗎?西方禮節(jié)對我來說還有些陌生，你可得隨時提醒我。

A: It has to do with body language, specifically eye contact.

C：肢體語言?Amy, 你能說得具體點兒嗎?

A：We send nonverbal messages with our arms, our legs, our posture, our gestures and most often with our eyes.

C：你是說能從我眼睛里能看出我的想法嗎?

A：沒錯。比方說，今天開會時，your eyes said more than your words or your facial expression. Todd 介紹提案時，我能看出你不同意他的意見。

C：奧， 你從我眼睛就能看出來?我真的是有異議。可你看出來的?我可是一字都沒說呀。

A: You didn't have to. You rolled your eyes.

C: 我翻眼睛了嗎?我怎么一點兒都沒覺得。

A：你是下意識的。You were not aware, but several people at the meeting noticed.

C：那就是說雖然我嘴上沒表示反對，其它人還是能夠看出來。Was there anything else that I did with my eyes?

A：Unfortunately, yes. You looked away several times while Todd was speaking.

C：這有什么不好嗎?他說的我都聽過好幾遍了。

A：沒錯。By not looking at Todd, you gave the impression that you had heard it all before and were not the least bit interested in hearing more.

C：這我可沒想到。我一直在努力管住自己的嘴巴，不要亂講話。

A：Well, your eyes did that for you.

C： Amy, 你還從我的眼神兒里看出什么了?

A：When you lost complete interest in what Todd was saying, you just stared at him blankly. It was that old "deer in the headlights" look.

C：“車前燈里的鹿”是什么意思啊?

A：For the deer facing the headlights of an oncoming car, its expression is one of looking, but not seeing.

C：你是說我的眼睛雖然看著Todd，但是別人能看出來，我其實并沒有聽進去?

A：That's right. The courteous professional is as conscious of his body language as he is his spoken language.

C: Amy, 你能不能再提醒我一下，以后要怎么做，省得我的眼睛把我的想法都泄漏出去了。

A：記住，眼睛是心靈的窗口。Learning to control the message that your eyes send is the key to courteous communication.